Sheesh, it’s just a letter

I’ve been working on a query letter and synopsis for Colin’s logs. In theory a query is a simple practical matter-- but I’m an anxious, nervous wreck. I think part of my problem is that I feel pressure to get it right. I mean I look through books on how to write a query, what should be in it and there are pages and pages of admonitions to ‘grab the editor/agent from the first word’ and to ‘sell your story’, and to ‘sell yourself as the person to write it’, making sure that every word is just so. (I think I need a paper sack, I’m about to hyperventilate here.)

But even with the best letter I could possibly write, I’m still afraid. It’s kind of a funny Catch-22 situation-- I’m afraid of taking the next step and I’m afraid of staying here. Then I feel silly about the whole thing-- it’s not like editors and agents have a James Bond eject button that will send me flying through the air if they don’t like it (and, thankfully, it would be too expensive to install). I can step back and be objective. I write fairly well and the book in question is a good read with some humor in it that will please readers in the sci fi/fantasy fan base but it’s not likely to be a Twilight kind of seller either, nor do I need it to be. One day, I’d like to have a real run-away-train like that, but Colin is really an opening salvo in what will hopefully be a long line of publishing credits. I need it to do well enough so I will be welcome to publish other stories. I have another manuscript that will be ready to market by the summer and several partial projects that I’m working on. But I have to get over the hill of marketing.

While I was writing, I kept having people commend my courage. Finishing a novel is a challenge but it wasn’t frightening, it called for sheer persistence more than courage. Critiques and revisions are tough, but good reviewers lead to such improvements that I can get over it. The writing is easy, marketing is where my neurotic insecurities show.

I have a decent core letter (with the help of some friends) and even if I’m a complete nut case, I can still address it to the agent or editor in question. My mother volunteered to actually mail the letters so that I don’t freak out and accidentally drop it in the trash instead of the mail (o.k., I exaggerate a bit). So, sooner than later, I’ll just suck it up and send it out-- wish me luck!