and the goose is getting fat?

Some years I get excited and I feel Christmas coming for weeks and I’m ready. This year it has seemed to sneak up on me. The number of Christmas related activities seems to multiply. And I find I’m tired. I end up in these unfortunate pockets of crankiness and unhappiness. Earlier today I was in a sad mood, mulling over old rejections that there is no way to resolve, and I had to treat myself like a small child. I gave myself simple, reasonable answers and then put myself down for a nap. It was amazing, shortly after resting, I was able to make sense of the answers I already knew but hadn’t been able to consider in the midst of my mood. So I found a temporary footing, but I haven’t really grasped Christmas yet. Usually, I get caught up in the humanity of Christ—for me, the fact that He came as a baby and had to go through all the normal life moments seems a restoration of dignity of human-beings. And while the thought has crossed my mind, I haven’t rested on it.
I’m trying to find the Christmas zone though. We watched two versions of ‘A Christmas Carol’ and one of them I love and the other I had not seen before and won’t bother with again. But we got to the end of the good version and I was teary-eyed about Scrooge’s transformation. I was especially struck by Scrooge peeking in at his nephew eating and asking if he could come to dinner—earlier, he had been there with the Ghost of Christmas present and had wanted to linger and I found it humorous that he was begging to stay as an invisible observer at a party that he’d been invited to. Now, here he was with his hat in hand, hoping to be welcomed… And his nephew had always been more than happy to have him, had gone out of the way for him, even when Scrooge was being a jerk. I’m sure there’s a lesson for me in that, maybe more than one.
Just as I am typing, it occurs to me that another important piece of Christmas is God’s willingness to get involved, not as a ghostly observer, but as a participant, a guest at the table. He is not detached in any way, He is very much involved. Jesus doesn’t just touch our lives, he got down in the dirt with us. But, I think God is more trying to tell me the second point, I was always welcome and that he made a supreme effort, even knowing what a jerk I can be.
But I have digressed from the main point. Really, I’m trying to get in my head that Christmas is almost here. And I want to pass on a Merry Christmas to you. So eat a lot of food and wrap a lot of presents (hey, that’s what the dollar store is for, right?) and play with your new toys.
KP